I HAVE AN OPINION ON EVERYTHING

Some helpful observations

2011-11-28T19:34:00.003+11:00

Having graduated and begun working full-time, here are some things that institutions of higher education do not teach you about the work place:

Life is not fair; it's never about what you know but who you know and who knows you
Brown-nosing to elevate your work station or position does not mean you are a sell out, it means you're doing what everyone else is doing
This is how to speak with your colleagues at work- if it is Mon-Tuesday you should ask them how their weekend was. If it is Wed-Friday you should ask them if they have any plans for the weekend.
Tuesday is the most productive day of the week
Friday is the least productive day of the week (T.G.I.F.)
Everyone loves Fridays
People who get pay rises don't always deserve it and sometimes the most overlooked people deserve a raise but they won't get it
Cigarettes might kill your life but smokers get more breaks

Unsent #19

2011-08-04T08:47:00.000+10:00

Where do I begin?

Do I think you will wait around for me? Were you such a nice guy and was I so blind? Would you have been that nice to anyone or was I really something special to you?

Four years. I feel like this is only the beginning, the calm before the storm. How can I possibly be all cried out after 1 day? It will only get harder and I know this. Am I strong enough to walk alone?

Why did I listen when they said being single was better, that I might find better. WTF is better? Is better richer, better looking, taller, more intelligent? No. Better is being happier.

So the question becomes: Was I happy? Mostly I was. I was a person who was safe from harm, protected by the knowledge that I belonged. No matter what the world had me facing, I had a partner in crime, a team mate and a best friend. I had a shoulder to cry on if ever I needed it. It became that I only depended on him. He became the bearer of all my burdens. How could I subject him to a life as a bearer? I often told him that he needed to do his own thing and get his act together. Truth is, it never occurred to me that he as too busy holding my act together, carrying all my baggage. He had no time to love himself because he was so devoted to me.

Perhaps the most selfless thing I've ever done for you, my love, was to let you go and find yourself and love yourself. I need to learn to carry my own burdens, I need to feel pain and hurt in order to truly cherish and appreciate you. Maybe then it will be too late. Once you see you who really are, you may not want me anymore. You might see the reality of our relationship.... That you truly deserved better.

I HATE HOLIDAYS

2011-06-13T01:23:00.002+10:00

I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer and complain about being on holidays when other people are still stressing over exams. But like I always say: TWO SIDES TO THE STORY INNIT!?

I finished my last assessment on Thursday 2nd June 2011. None of my friends are finished yet, so they are still going to library and doing study session. MEANWHILE I have watched the following movies:

Good Luck Chuck, Sex and the City 2, Pan's Labyrinth, Half Baked, Little Fockers, She's Out of My League, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Young and Dangerous 1, Breakfast at Tiffanys, 27 Dresses, Baby, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, What Happens in Vegas and 17 Again!!!!!

As you can probably tell from the selection that I do NOT like crying in movies and if there is any avoidable possiblity that the movie is sad... then I'm not watching it. For example I have 'The Break Up' feat. Jennifer Aniston but I watched it once and never again because ESSENTIALLY breaking up is a sad thing... :'(

I don't like sad movies like The Notebook or The Titanic. I've seen both movies many times but always fast forward sad parts... So in Titanic that would be the door scene after the boat sinks whe Rose the fatass cannot share her door with Jack - which is still something that makes my blood boil to this day! I can watch scary movies with company. When I'm alone I prefer fluff movies... or action.

Really... the reason I hate holidays is because when I have too much time on my hands I start going a bit messed up. Some people love having nothing to do, waking up and taking it slow and easy. When I have nothing to do for an extended amount of time: I lose it.

I LOSE IT.

My text messages to my friends tonight and my Twitter acc will only confirm this.

Person A: Hahahaha just gotta wait til everyone finish. Ive never hard anyone complain cus they finished early.

no.
need to buy a book or something because I currently have a hard drive full of movies and seriously THIS IS NOT ENOUGH. I NEED MORE stimulation before I lose my fucking mind.

What they don't tell you...

2011-06-12T20:23:00.002+10:00

Independence is not what it's cracked up to be, for women.

I was driving today and mum was saying how her whole life she wanted to be independent, she wanted to work and earn her own money so that she had the satisfaction of being able to rely on herself. I have always always admired that in my mum. Then today she told me that because she chose to be the independent one, who could work and who could do hard labour with my dad.... Her life has been hard.

Then we started talking about some women who are incapable of taking care of themselves, or working, or being independent... I expected my mum to say how useless they were and how I should never grow up to be like that. Instead she said that because she chose to independent, give up her looks and fashion and beauty for hard work. She has callouses on her hands... never painted her nails... Well she said that she can see that I'm growing up to be like her.

Her word of advice though, was to be wary. That I should not always act like I can do everything on my own because sooner or later, everyone around me will expect it from me. No one will help me carry things or do hard work because I'm a girl, no one will buy me things and no one will offer assistance. In other words, her advice to me was that even if you are absolutely capable to undertake the task on-hand, pretending to be naive and a little bit weak or stupid, will make my life a lot easier.

Finish this post up with a thoughtful quote from Chuck Palahniuk.

"You gain power by pretending to be weak.
By contrast, you make people feel strong.
You save people by letting them save you.
All you have to do is be fragile and grateful. So stay the underdog.
People really need somebody they feel superior to. So stay downtrodden.
People need somebody they can send a check at Christmas. So stay poor.
"Charity" isn't the right word, but it's the first word that comes to mind."

Social networking

2011-05-17T10:38:00.002+10:00

ASK ME SOMETHING - I never get any questions :'( http://formspring.me/sisichips
http://www.twitter.com/addictive_x0

RED CENTER ALL NIGHTER #1

2011-05-03T01:29:00.001+10:00

I always procrastinate so I came to uni at 9pm tonight hoping to do an all-nighter to catch up on readings and general work since I didn't do anything during the midsem break.

Unrelated to uni work - Why do people wear jeans at home and then take photos of themselves as if they are just 'chilling'....?

I don't care how skinny you are and how comfy your jeans are... You just don't wear jeans at home when you're chilling out. It's just weird. The first thing I do when I go home is take off my jeans, especially if they are skinny jeans because they are shit and I have been uncomfortable all day and as soon as I'm home... trackies and tshirt.

Trackpants are the shit. Especially in winter. I'm wearing track pants now... and they are awesome!!!!

3 month suspension

2011-04-16T05:06:00.002+10:00

In Australia we have this law regarding provisional drivers whereby if you get any speeding ticket you will be suspended for 3 months. Today I was clocked over the limit by a police officer going 80 in a 60 zone. I could have sworn I was going slower but you can't really argue with the police. He wrote me a ticket for $211 and told me after I paid it, the RTA would send me a notice of suspension for 3 months.

I started thinking... How long is 3 months? That's 12 weekends, that's an entire school term, that's one week short of an entire uni semester... In other words it's a slap in the face really. Public transport again, is that so bad? Up until 8 months ago... My entire life before that had been dependent on public transport- waiting for trains or buses that might often come late, was uncomfortable, inconvenient and so on. And in Australia - good luck getting home after 12am!

Then it got me thinking: well now I'll have time to read on the train, listen to music, study, sleep and so on during the long commutes. I will be able to drink when I went since I would never be designated driver. I won't have to look for parking! I will save money on petrol and well... It didn't seem so bad anymore.

Yes I will miss driving and the freedom and independence that comes with it.

I paid my fine IMMEDIATELY so it can get processed and the RTA (hopefully) will suspend me from mid-May until mid-July. There's a lot of things I'll now have to forego such as my pilates class at 8am Saturday mornings, going to the gym whenever I want! But I get to see interesting people on the train again, I get to make up stories for them, I plan on using the money I save on fuel on a book each week to read on the long commutes!!! It won't be so bad - actually I'm really looking forward to it :)

Quick procrastinate

2011-04-15T11:55:00.000+10:00

As per the title...

I woke up at 8:30am to 'do some work' because I haven't done much this week beside work only to find myself in front of my laptop at 11:56am having produced no work.

What I have managed to achieve this morning is:
Paint my nails and
Check my email

That's about it!!!!

LOSING MOTIVATION - NEED HOLIDAYS NOW NOW NOW

Dinner photos

2011-04-15T11:51:00.002+10:00

Here are some photos from dinner last night at Platform One in Bankstown Sporties. I haven't eaten a steak since last year so this was my special steak night YUM. Who doesn't like a good steak?

2011-04-05T23:07:00.003+10:00

Are Australian TV advertisments voiced with Australian or American accents?

2011-04-04T20:58:00.000+10:00

I ate too much KFC today. Heart doesn't feel right...

Anyway I'm really starting to stress the F out about my assessments and I'm only underloading this semester but I made a deal that to underload means to do my absolutely best for the few subjects I am taking on.

UM, so today I did my volunteer work that I do every Monday at this special school and I left so I could fit in gym before running home to 'study.' After gym I realised in 1 hour some bigass ibis took a dump on my car - LIKE A REALLY BIG SPLASH OF POOP - So I decided to wash my car.

After washing my car, for some reason, I really felt like Sweet potato chips at KFC so I went and got a Sweet Potato dinner meal at the drive-through on Canterbury road and THEN WTF HAPPENS? IT STARTS RAINING. After I just hand washed my car.

Shitietiwehtiwet.

Went home, ate a lot of KFC and then I have done nothing since.

WORST DAY!!!!

2011-03-27T22:47:00.002+11:00

What the hell happened last night?

Did I get really drunk and say or do something out of line? If I did why won't you confront me about it?

I know I can be too cruel sometimes but I really hate this passive aggressive side of you.

I do take you for granted, I know that much. But you love playing the victim.

How did you know?

2011-03-24T23:44:00.004+11:00

'You don't ever go out huh? You don't drink or have fun or do anything right?'

From someone I barely even know... and yet how right is he in making those assumptions about my life right now, really? Am I that transparent? How did it come to be like this... I tried to defend myself - it's just that I'm busy with uni, well it's my last year and I just want to do well, I don't like clubbing... Uh yes I used to drink and smoke but not right now BUT WHO KNOWS tomorrow I might let loose and be wild, wild wild like a 21 year old should.

Then I held my tongue despite how crushed I was that someone I barely even know told me that I must live a super boring life... SIGH.

I sometimes think I went a little bit too crazy in HS and had a bit too much fun and now I just want to do nothing. I just want to be sensible and drive at the speed limit but then I get a little bit of alcohol in me and I'm like a whole other person. Is it because I have another personality just being suppressed inside me and then alcohol just brings her out? Suddenly I can't put the drinks down! I think it's sort of embarrassing really, being drunk to the point of slurring, to the point of throwing up because it means I've lost control.

Right now I'm psychoanalysing mysel and I realise it comes down to control. I control every little thing in my life from gym routines and days to home work to work and to relationships. Most of the time I feel like well if everything is going to plan then I'm glad and when things don't... OMG I just lose it. My mum (and boyfriend) tells me I'm a psychologically unhealthy for doing that. I just make plans to the smallest details and then everyday if I tick off everything on my plan then I'm good and I feel complacent.

I wish I could have told that guy who asked me that question today, what a fun person I used to be. WHAT A BADASS I USED TO BE. He asked 'Did you go to Future... (almost HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF FUTURE?)' ......... That surprised me. I don't think anyone who meets me now would ever believe the things I got up to a few years ago just like no one who knew me then would believe the person I have become.

The crazy thing is. I don't know how or when this control freak in me took over.......

I think I need to drink more. I'm losing my mind.

Reflexivity

2011-03-15T22:34:00.003+11:00

Elizabeth Kostova, The Historian is a book well worth reading. I haven't finished it yet but I haven't been able to put it down either. I haven't come across a book this captivating for a long time. The purchase of this best seller also coincides perfectly with my car being at the panel beaters. They have had my car for a week and a half now and I should get it back on Friday. For the moment I have had the opportunity to take public transport and read!!

Over the weekend I had some personal dramas but they are resolved now. Sometimes I just think I need to take a breather from how serious I make everything out to be. Funny how I wasn't like that in high school and ever since I've left... My life feels like it's become progressively more serious, as if there weren't enough time for me to just sit back and enjoy my twenties. I find myself waking up in the night anxious that my life isn't at the point I expected it to be when I was 16 and because of that.,, I get an overwhelming sense of failure and pathos.

But. That was before and I'm making a conscious effort to just be a student for a little longer. I'm trying to be more carefree ...

I hope blogger allows .gif

2011-03-13T16:09:00.001+11:00

Sadly... not

2011-03-13T12:55:00.001+11:00

You better hope you know what you're doing because you're on your own to make your mistakes and to fail or to learn from them and succeed.

Phone call

2011-03-13T12:48:00.004+11:00

How can someone be so nonchalant about everything in their life? He says he wants this and this and that but then the conversation never includes how he'll achieve it.

Well I'm over it. 'I don't know' is not an accepted answer in any real test so why should I accept it as a real fucking answer? It is the answer of people who hate making decisions, and people hate making decisions because they can never commit to any decision they make. In other words, useless people.

So take your IDK because IDK if I really want to help you find out anymore.

Call me when you grow up.

upside down and inside out

2011-03-12T23:14:00.003+11:00

I said to myself before... I'm just going to focus on my own life and get that sorted and get that right and everything else will fall into place.

That was ignorant, selfish and naive.

I know now that a life lived on your own is a life not worth living. A life lived without caring about others is a lonely one indeed.

Japan

2011-03-12T23:02:00.002+11:00

What happened in Japan yesterday was a tragedy.

The updated death toll is now 600 confirmed dead and likely to surpass 1000 once they have accounted for the missing people.

I feel really sad tonight, and last night. My heart is heavy for all those people who tried to escape and were simply too late. My heart is heavy knowing that human life can be so small and that what we do to one another in wars and hatred, mother nature can do in a minute. My heart is too heavy tonight knowing that moments like these are beyond our control... I'm terribly sad for everyone who has lost someone as a result of this event.

The world is trying to make sense of what's happened, I'm trying to understand... None of this makes any sense!

What can make this right? The world is so chaotic right now. I'm so scared, like I've never been scared in my life. Afraid of what's to come and afraid that life might have no meaning....

the one that got away

2011-03-12T22:43:00.000+11:00

Summer after high school when we first met
We make out in your Mustang to Radio head
And on my 18th birthday we got that chain tattoos
Used to steal your parents' liquor and climb to the roof
Talk about our future like we had a clue
Never plan that one day I'd be losing you

And in another life I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in other life I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

I was dreaming you were my Johnny Cash
Never one, we got the other, we made a pact
Sometimes when I miss you, I put those records on, whoa
Someone said you had your tattoo removed
Saw you downtown singing the blues
It's time to face the music, I'm longer your muse

And in another life I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

The one, the one, the one
The one that got away

All these money can't buy me a time machine, no
Can't replace you with a million rings, no
I should've told you what you meant to me, whoa
'Cause now I pay the price

In another life I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

The one, the one, the one, the one

And in another life I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

OPI Katy Perry 'Black Shatter'

2011-03-11T10:47:00.000+11:00

The shatter looks better on one hand than the other and so here is a tip:

The more polish on the brush and the harder you press; the bigger the shatter sections. On my right hand I did not use as much polish and it was only a thin top coat - and so there's lots of little shatters... But I think the large shattered sections look better (since it shows large areas of the bottom coat layer.)

2011-03-06T21:43:00.002+11:00

I GOT MY MIND ON MY MONEY, MY MONEY ON MY MIND

China 2010-11 Continued

2011-03-06T21:17:00.001+11:00

China 2010-2011

2011-03-02T13:57:00.001+11:00

Empty

2011-02-22T00:38:00.003+11:00

I know that you loved me a lot,
But it was never quite discussed...

This is too hard, sorry is not enough.

Hmmmm

2011-02-15T02:21:00.000+11:00

So am I jealous of all the girls who got to eat at a nice restaraunt tonight and received flowers and choccies? NOPE because 365 days a year I have a happy valentines day.

My present to him was calling him and talking on the phone for 40 minutes! My other present was sitting next to him at work when I normally sit somewhere else.

His present for me was taking my car and filling it up with petrol while I was at work! Then giving me my keys so when I finish work I could just drive home without filling up for another week.

SWEET <3

Question

2011-02-11T01:52:00.001+11:00

Why did I just spend 20 minutes on Facebook looking at my own profile?

Fuckin loser bahaha.

Summer school

2011-02-11T01:02:00.001+11:00

ARGGGHH just wasted a good proportion of my summer holiday in Sydney on a GenEd subject that was not only out of my comfort zone (HELLO SCIENCE?!!) but was incredibly demanding.

Jingi did a winter school subject worth the same amount of units and he had to write a 500-word report on an excursion.

Me. I had to write a 2000-word essay on something I had to research.

Anyway it's done. I finished the essay tonight and will proof read tomorrow. Lucky I have a boyfriend whose willing to drop my assignment off at uni for me cause shityounot- going to uni for a whole week 9-5pm when EVERYONE else is still on holidays was the most depressing week ever.

Everyone is sleeping in and you find parking on High st at 5 to 9. And you know your life sucks!!!!

Just a thought

2011-02-08T23:10:00.001+11:00

Once my boyfriend made me wait for 30 minutes and when he came to find me...I flipped out and tried to punch his face, he dodged and I ended up punching him in the neck.

There I said it.

2011-02-08T22:14:00.001+11:00

Nicki Minaj and Drake make such a great couple in 'Moment For Life.'

Because everybody dies but not everybody lives

Not emotional, just bored

2011-02-07T22:46:00.001+11:00

Precious little doggie <3

Tonight I will sleep early and finish my assignment tomorrow. HURRAH!!!

Acoustic poem

2011-02-07T22:43:00.001+11:00

Rain falling on
Everyone
Grabbing what's left
Roads are closing
Exit this way
Time to move on
Sorry

Unsent #27

2011-02-07T00:59:00.001+11:00

You give everything you have and share everything you know. We'll never be strangers that's what you said. You remember?

You are a stranger. I hope it stays like this. If you want to know why hate is the only emotion between us the answer is simple...

Hate is easier than love. If it weren't hate we might love which will never be an option again. Letting go once was enough I don't think I have the strength to let go again.

2011-02-07T00:33:00.002+11:00

I used to think posting on a blog was second nature, because why wouldn't people want to read about me and my life?

Well I went overseas for 6 weeks without access to 'SOCIAL NETWORKING' and on my return I noticed it was all a little pathetic. No one is who they really are on the internet, it's a facade and persona everyone presents to their acquaintances... Everyone gets to be who they want people to think they are.

Either that or they really think people are interested in what they are doing.

So why did I spend so much of my time on a a website learning about other people's lives and interests. Did they deserve so much of my attention? No.

I feel like the world is going crazy with this social media. What is so social about it? All it does is create more gossip. The people who update their statuses relentlessly and like other people's posts the most are... How do I say it? They must be the nosiest people. NOSEY.

Why do you want to know so much about everyone's life? Why do you want to share so much of yours?

Home

2011-01-20T02:00:00.002+11:00

My grandma said that me visiting China felt like me returning home. I thought so too until I was cleared at customs and the customs man said "Welcome home!"

I can upload photos next time.

So many things I need to do before uni starts. I came home to find my car is out of battery which means I need to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT Arrggghhh. Don't even know what to do. What a hassle. I'm starting summer school on Monday 9-5 Monday to Friday and I'd better fix my car if I want to drive there.

Ily

2010-10-20T00:39:00.000+11:00

I'm still thinking about why I couldn't say it back.

Is it because I'm embarassed? Do I not love him? Or maybe I just don't feel the need to say it.

Or maybe I just love myself more than I love him.

Shit.

Real substance of character

2010-10-13T01:09:00.000+11:00

1. When I was 18 I met a girl who changed the way I saw the world and myself. She showed me that being alone doesn't make you lonely. From her I finally learnt how to be myself with acceptance. She changed my life without even knowing it. She was unique and different from anyone that I had known in my life until that point. She taught me how to be an individual, showed me what it was really like to not care about other people's judgements. Every day I am thankful for her contributions to the person I am today. When she calls I would not ever screen it or not reply to her messages because every time I'm with her, I gain something new.

2. Today I met someone who appears to be complicated and interesting. Someone I knew I had to get to know. Not fake and not a simpleton. Every day I hear friends and strangers alike talking cheap talk and sticking their noses up like they are somehow better than others. Telling lie after lie after lie about how much substance they have, how thoughtful they are. Trying to convince the world around them and themselves that they are so deep and meaningful when in fact, it is all garbage. So I have to say it's such a breath of fresh air to meet someone who doesn't define themselves on how much money they will make in the future; someone who searches for meaning not friends; someone who wears their personality & wisdom not the best clothes that money can buy; someone whose presence alone will tell you that they know more than they will ever say.

3. I hope one day I can be someone who can affect people in this way. I hope I can live my life with pride and dignity so that all those around me will know that I am a person with substance, without me having to convince them with lies and exaggeration.

Over the red P's honeymoon

2010-10-11T23:32:00.002+11:00

Today I left uni at 9:30pm and went on the m5 to go home...

a) M5 was closed going to Bankstown
b) It started raining
c) I got lost
d) I had my GPS
e) Which helped me get more lost
f) Went to the international airport
g) Followed a taxi
h) Saw a lot of taxis lining up... realised I shouldn't be there
i) Too late. I'm in the taxi oval and the oval isn't showing up on my GPS
j) Got honked by a taxi driver
k) Got out of my car in the rain to ask him for directions
l) He laughed
m) Decided not to follow GPS
n) Followed a random car instead hoping it'd take me where I need to be
o) Saw "King Georges Road Beverley Hills" sign
p) NOW I KNOW THE WAY HOME.

I got home at 10:44pm...

Quickiest of all updates

2010-10-09T22:51:00.002+11:00

FINALLY FINISHED MY TEST CONSTRUCTION O M G !!!!!!! JOY OH JOY OH JOY.
But I have my English method stuff due next next Monday (worth 100% WTF.?)

New topic.

My holidays are almost over. Back to uni for 2 weeks (Wk 12 and 13) only to hand in at least one assignment for every single subject ARGHH.

New topic.

I'm going overseas in 48 days and my savings account isn't even 4 digits yet. How am I going to survive for 5 weeks in a foreign country? :/

New topic.

Crashed my car lol. I left the bad news for last... STILL cannot believe I have already my car because I ONLY got my P's LAST MONTH.

New topic.

It's 10:56pm and I'm going to have a shower now. Lol ... :/

Strangers

2010-10-05T01:53:00.000+11:00

You wonder if she remembers the empty promises, "we'll never be strangers." You hope not. You see her across the room she looks happy enough now.

You remember the fights the tears gushing down her face onto your pillow. All the frustration and anger. Why couldn't she understand? You rememeber the consolation lies you told her as you held her and thought of someone else.

You remember the smell of her hair in your bed on your pillow. You remember the secrets the laughs and the then-future. You remember her softness as she lay wholly as she was in your bed. You traced your finger on her waif silouhette: the outline of a girl. You'll love her forever that's what you thought; I'll give her the world she is my world and she doesn't even know.

This was before the war broke out. But there was never a war, just falling out of love.

She smiles at you just as you turn away to your fiancé, "Who is she? Why does she keep looking this way?"

To which you answer, "I don't know her."

2010-09-23T20:59:00.000+10:00

Tomorrow is my last day of prac. Feeling sort of sad that it's over but I'm very excited that I don't have to wake up at 7am Mon-Fri anymore!

Defqon 1 2010

LONG TIME NO SEE

2010-09-08T22:02:00.004+10:00

C O U N T I N G down the days until my prac is over and not because I don't love it but because I am wayyyyyyyy too tired all the time. I just want to chill out and relax :S Except I know I won't be that lucky because I have 3 weeks of uni where everything is due ... after prac. ARHGHGHG.

So in 2 weeks time you'll be witnessing my suffering at university.

I received my second letter from EMPA (English, Media and Performing Arts) at the uni inviting me to do Honours for English but um.... English isn't even my passion. HISTORY IS MY PASSION. I have better marks in History so WHY THE HECK hasn't the History faculty sent me anything :'( AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH to do honours for history.

Anyway I think I decided I'm going to USYD to do my Masters.... Maybe. Or I might work.

But sooner or later I want my masters.

Family photo time

2010-08-10T20:35:00.000+10:00

My car in lego yay

2010-08-10T19:42:00.000+10:00

End of year holiday

2010-08-09T01:29:00.001+10:00

Forgot to mention that on Saturday, Will and I went to Ashfield and booked and paid for plane tickets to China.

Now that it's set in stone I really need to start saving. Turns out we're going from 26th November until 19th January. 52 days!!

2010-08-08T23:13:00.005+10:00

We've spent so much time judging what other people created that we've created very, very little of our own.

There is nothing to compare. I lead a totally different like to her.
Why should I even care about her? She is a nobody, which is not to say she means nothing. I simply mean she is a nobody to me. Why should I care what she wears what she likes how pretty she is how tall how skinny how anything?

She is no better than me or anyone else that I know for that fact.

I have wasted all this time.

Stupid stupid stupid stupid.
STUPID.

I breed my own insecurities when there was nothing to be insecure about ever. Do I look up to her? If so, why should I? Because she has more money than me? That is a pathetic thing to aspire to. Did she make her own money? No. It is only family money. She has achieved no more than I have. She is no more successful than I am. She works no harder than me.

2010-08-04T22:48:00.002+10:00

Half way through making a Formspring account because Laura has one and I think it might be interesting to see what kind of questions I'd get.

Then I thought about it and realised; What if I don't get any questions? Then I will just feel lonely so F it I'm not going to create one. :[

Sam's first time at the beach

2010-08-02T00:12:00.003+10:00

Ben & Jerrys in Manly.

Coffee coffee buzzbuzzbuzz; Phish food; Chunky Munky (My fav!!!)

Trying on my sunnies. Why he's trying to look like a hard cunt I don't know!!?

TRUE SAPPHIRE = blue

2010-07-29T23:17:00.003+10:00

I ordered some contacts from http://www.freshlooks.com.au and I ordered "True Sapphire."

When they arrived in the mail I realised THEY WERE BLUE!!! Gahhhh. What did I think sapphire meant?!!!??? Maybe brown or something. HOW DUMB AM I.

Okokokok.

Why do I hate blue contacts? I pretty much define my teenybopper years on my BLUE contacts. So yeah it's kind of a shame thing... I thought I'd put it behind me with this:

a) Haduri & Webcamming b) Long straight hair, parted c) Blue contacts

"True Sapphire" this is me when I'm 21. Above picture I must have been 16 years old haha.

A random picture I took of myself on a cold cold winter's night while I was on the comp and super bored. Because I'm capped.

So yeah. I AM CAPPED. And I had to use my laptop to upload pictures to this blogpost.... and it took fucking forever. I think it actually took me 1 hour to do this post. =O

Was it worth it? Not sure.

Some days I think I was a bit better looking when I was young.... but meh y'know.

13 more days until I go for my P's OMG. PLEASE LET ME PASS FIRST GO PLEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!! :[

UPDATE

2010-07-28T00:30:00.000+10:00

Parking is actually very hard. Practised A LOT today. I actually cried :S better luck tomorrow I hope.

The Ray-Bans I bought on eBay have arrived. I get a hard case, a cloth, a leaflet and even a little plastic thing that reads: Ray-Bans genuine since 1937.

But I'm sure they are fake. So if they are fake (they're $30 so how can people think they are REAL) why do they go to all the trouble of giving me all this other stuff as if I really believe they're real. Lol.

They look nice though. Next time it's sunny... I'll take a photo.

Online shopping 2

2010-07-27T02:00:00.000+10:00

I can't believe I'm sleeping so late tonight! WTF is wrong with me?

As title suggests... Been doing some more online shopping and I think I'm out of control! My internet is capped and it's sooo slow so I spent the last 6 hours browsing for things on asos.com and it takes forever to load a single page. But I persevered.......... For 6 hours!!!

I wish I had that kind of dedication for my uni work. I already have an assessment due next week (Week 3; worth 40%). Arrrggghhhhh what kind of BS is this? How can they ask us to do an assignment by week 3? I HAVEN'T LEARNT ANYTHING YET!! Geeeeez -_-"

I am feeling mega buyer's remorse at the moment. What happened to my usual tightass self?

Normally if I see something I like in shops I follow a rule my mum told me (for exxy items and anything more than $40 is exxy for me lol): Go home. Think about it. If I still want it in the morning and am willing to travel back to the store... Then I go an buy it because it isn't impulse buying. More often than not, I decide not to buy it :)

ERRRRR ONLINE SHOPPING = fucks me up.

If I don't have enough dosh to buy plane tickets next week I am going to rage at myself a lot!

In addition to the stuff I'm already waiting to receive in the mail [previous post]... I'm now expecting another two packages;
1. A bling white rhinestone studded iPhone case from eBay which I don't know why I bought because it's kind of fobby... Very blingblingbling and unlike me.
2. Asos.com package for two dresses, a skirt, a cardigan and braza reveal sticky things for your nipples haha [so that if I ever buy anything backless and I don't want to wear a bra... Or if I'm wearing a very low cut top haha --- which isn't something I'm likely to do.]

DRIVING LESSON AT 11am tomorrow and then I will start my assignment tomorrow!

Online shopping

2010-07-26T00:35:00.000+10:00

LEARNT HOW TO USE EBAY!

Bought a Zara blazer at the last last last 10 seconds today and it was only $40 and free p&h yippeee.

Last week I bought a pair of Ray-Ban aviators [large ones] black frames and black lense.... This should arrive in the mail this week!

I also bought some colour contacts which I haven't worn in ages and I don't even have contact solution anymore =\ They were $25 + $8 p&h from an Australian site. I bought the Freshlook colourbleds but I forgot which colour. Either gray or turquoise.

This may not seem like a lot but I RARELY shop for accessories or clothes. I think I'd buy about one new thing every couple of months?

NEED TAX RETURN MONEY so I can buy plane tickets to China ASAP.
a) because the later I leave it the more exxy the tickets get
b) the longer I put it off, the more likely I am to use savings.zz Noooooo :[

THIS IS ALL FOR NOW.

2010-07-23T23:43:00.000+10:00

I had lunch with Shay today at The Renaissance Cafe at The Rocks! Quiche, creme brûlée, tea and macaroons. It was delicious but macaroons were more pricey than Adriano Zumbo but I feel Zumbo makes better macaroons. (My favorite macaroon so far is still Carre Noir in Mosman.)

We had a looong lunch and the weather this afternoon was beautiful. Then we went to Duty free shops because I wanted to show her the $700 LV Evidence sunglasses. Well they aren't as sexy on my face as I thought so I can take that off my Things-to-buy-when-I-win-the-lotto list :p

Creme brûlée at The Renaissance Cafe ($4.50 t/a and $5 eat-in)

Shay also gave me belated present(s): giant chuppa chup, rock lollies from Lygon St in Melbourne and a pearl bracelet from Oroton. "Other people should buy you pearls because if you buy it yourself it's bad luck."

I might smash it with a hammer and eat it in bits. Last time I tried to eat a lolly this big ... After about 10% my tongue started bleeding :S

Had such a nice day today.

Tomorrow I'm going to watch Inception.

Invisible Zinc

2010-07-21T13:03:00.000+10:00

Bought this yesterday at Woolies for $15 and boy. It is only 20g which is about the same size as most other department store SAMPLES.

Well I just paid $15 for a sample.

I'll be using it today and seeing what the hype is all about. I've either heard really good things about it like; beautiful shade, evens skin tone, best sunscreen with no chemicals or preservatives.

The other side of the story; break outs, expensive, barrier to skin, hard to take off, oily, thick consistency and hard to apply.

Justification

2010-07-20T23:54:00.001+10:00

You learn how to fight, one way or another, or you disappear.
I know how to fight, but I like to disappear.

Ok so the post below was kind of a mess. It was a working progress. I addressed different issues :/ from different times in my life so yeaa. If it sounds inconsistent and all over the place...

Well good. Because that is pretty much how my thoughts are "organized" in my head. They hit me all at once.

A heart ache is true agony

2010-07-20T23:41:00.001+10:00

Hearts really do ache. It aches when you have to apart from someone you are emotionally tied to. It aches when that person pushes you away and aches even more when you don't want to go. It aches when you move on and aches when you're being moved on from.

Then my heart aches once more when I look into someone's eyes and realise all they see in me is a ghost. I mean nothing. I am nothing. I barely exist.

I remember the full eyes and how they felt. Full of stinging wet tears and heart wrenching, bitter shame.

"I will always be here for you and you will always mean something to me." How many times have I said this and not meant it? Not more than the amount of times someone has said it to me and lied.

Wise words

2010-07-16T23:13:00.000+10:00

Once pride sets in, you become unteachable. Then you become unimprovable. That's when you become replaceable.

2010-07-10T16:15:00.003+10:00

Haven't been posting anything on Blogger recently due to the fact that Twitter encourages my OCD / attention-seeking tendencies.

So please follow me addictive_x0 if you have Twitter.

Ahhhh cannot believe next week will be the LAST week of holidays.
HOW BIZARRE.
How time flies.

xx.

Immigration

2010-06-24T11:11:00.002+10:00

The title reads, "A New English-Chinese Dictionary."

Packed away in the suitcase of a stranger in a strange country. Clutching an intimidated two-year old with one hand and carrying the means to a new beginning in another. Walking through the airport automatic glass doors; suddenly fresh air, blue skies and white clouds... unfamiliarity.

A piece of paper scrunched up in nervous hands that had fidgeted all throughout the trip. The stranger folds out the paper to look again upon the alien words which marks what she is to call her new home.

19 years later.

Fight

2010-06-22T01:04:00.000+10:00

The vicious words were the bullets waiting for the signal to tear, rip and wound the heart.

"It's just a game." The signal.

Too quick, too violent and too cruel as words are catapulted at the enemy. They say it is a war without reason.

The tear-stained glass of her phone only serves as a confronting reminder of what should not have been said.

Time to wring out the bloodied bandages and tend to the wounded.

In war there is always collateral damage. There are always two enemies who are strikingly similar in many respects. But are too stubborn too narrow-minded and too proud to admit defeat or even to admit that the war is not worth it.

Shapes

2010-06-21T21:22:00.002+10:00

They take the form of passing-by thoughts that drip drop drip into the bucket of consciousness. small selfish and insignificant ideas forming and flowing into one another until...

No longer separate, they amalgamate into something a lot darker, a lot more sinister and stronger. More and more powerful and suggestive until...

Now this is reality.

New mascara

2010-06-18T19:10:00.001+10:00

2010-06-15T12:24:00.001+10:00

And remember that,
the words make you stronger
and the wounds make you tougher.
And the walls you build,
make you harder to love.

HOLIDAYS

2010-06-12T13:10:00.002+10:00

I have to read at least one book a week.

MAKE MONEY $ $ $

Practice driving.

Watch a lot of sh*t.

I watched the two FIFA games this morning on SBS Live!? Both teams drew sigh... and the Asian ref during France verse Uruguay game was a bit loopy IMO, just throwing yellow and red card out like they're nothing!

2010-06-03T15:12:00.002+10:00

I remember relationships being so much more complex in high school. As if there would never be enough time and everything had to be right, right now.

Now it is the complete opposite. We spend our days believing that we're so young and that there is still so much time... Wrong things can be made right, just not right now.

If we don't answer questions, we will never receive answers. Sometimes we don't ask because we're embarrassed and sometimes we don't ask because we already know the answer.

Prac update 2

2010-06-02T18:31:00.000+10:00

I cannot believe I have finished 65% of my prac already! It is almost over.

Starting to get to know the wonderful students and they are all so kind to me! I cannot believe how easy I've had it so far. Everyone in the staffroom thinks I'm crazy because I want some naughty kids so that I can practise my classroom management skills.

:) I don't get nervous before I teach anymore.

Prac update

2010-05-26T23:15:00.001+10:00

40% of prac is already over!

So far so good I've made it out alive and the kids are absolutely wonderful and amazing!! I haven't taught my Year 7 or Year 12 class yet but I am feeling confident.

The following is my timetable for next semester :( WTF is this 6 hour gap.... I cannot believe this has happened to me. I am considering whether it would be better to have the 9am Wednesday tutorial moved to Friday.... Which means I have to come to uni for another day :/

I will be able to get my red P's on the Wednesday of Week 4 so that makes me VERY HAPPY :) I will go to my class, go RTA and get my P's and drive to uni for my afternoon class!!

GOOD PLAN.

a degree change and three years later...

2010-05-24T22:54:00.003+10:00

And I have finally earned the right to be listened to for 75 minutes straight muahaha.

:) Teach my first class tomorrow.
Please let it be alright.

I don't want to be here tomorrow wanting to change my degree again!

2010-05-23T22:55:00.002+10:00

Memory will rust and erode into lists of all that you gave me:
a blanket, some matches, this pain in my chest,
the best parts of Lonely, duct-tape and soldered wires,
new words for old desires.

New wind for a new day tomorrow for a new week. Deep breath and breathe it all inside and it's cold but it's all good.

#4

2010-05-22T21:44:00.000+10:00

Wonder where you see at night
Beneath the stars,
If it isn't with me.
A dream ago you pointed to the night
Hand in mine you told me,
We are the universe.

When nights were long with knowledge
There is not enough time.
Never again Tonight.

2010-05-14T10:58:00.000+10:00

I fucked up :S

Too demanding?

2010-05-12T09:05:00.002+10:00

Well then.
Is it too demanding to expect to be treated with respect?
Or too demanding to expect some organisation and efficiency?

Maybe you think so.

Well if I am too demanding, that's only because you are too selfish, too irresponsible, too lazy and too much of a person who never gets things done.

I hate it.
Just like how you hate me.

We hate each other.

Good riddance then. Because I'd rather be too demanding than all the things that you are too much of.

2010-05-11T23:53:00.002+10:00

You were a stroke of luck.
We were a goldmine
and they gutted us.

........How much longer?

2010-05-11T00:14:00.000+10:00

I'm going on prac next week at the local high school down the road. Walking distance!!

Argh still so much work to do, can't wait until this semester is OVER.

I feel like a cup of corn with salt and butter from Menya haha. YUM ;)

2010-05-10T02:42:00.000+10:00

You told me that you often think that you can't feel anything, at all.

Well... What about me?

2010-05-08T23:27:00.001+10:00

Kiss me like you mean it.

Level 10 UNSW library

2010-05-08T23:21:00.001+10:00

2010-05-05T22:24:00.000+10:00

UNI WORK = NIGHTMARE =(

Getting told where my placement will be on Monday!!! Gut feeling says I'll be in whoop whoop.

2010-05-04T19:25:00.000+10:00

Handed in my English unit of work yesterday. It ended up being over 11000 words. O M G never have I spent such a long time on an assignment before!!

Today I had to start my Histry UOW due next week. Seriously doing my head in :|

......On my way home now to watch MASTERCHEF which has become my only time where I am not freaking out over assessments -_-"

2010-05-02T01:43:00.002+10:00

Internet is back!! Finally....

But I can't even browse the net because I have my unit of work due on Monday.
:(

ARGHGHGH STILL GOT SO MUCH LEFT TO DO I just want to crawl into a hole and die.

I went to the ETA workshops today at Knox Grammar... and that school is AMAZING! Their canteen? Like a food court. They have a professional rugby field that has this big screen that can show replays and slow motion for the audience on game nights. Currently? Building a new indoor swimming pool, a new medical infirmary... THE SCHOOL IS SO AMAZING!!! Is it $20000 a year to attend that school?

That is absolutely incredible.

I woke up and Jingi drove me to Wahroonga and on the way I was a bit hung over so I just really needed to eat. Made a stop over at MaccyD's before rushing to Knox. I got there in time and as soon I step inside I see platters of seasonal fruit (watermelon, Kiwifruit, pineapple, apple, strawberries, rockmelon) next to platter after platter of raisin scones, plain scones. Then there was the mountains of fluffy cream and jam next to the scones... TO DIE FOR!

I was just burning that I spent $6 for a bacon and egg McMuffin meal that was a wrong order because a) I asked for a sausage Mcmuffin (without egg) meal and b) I don't like egg and I don't like bacon. So I got jipped. *Sigh

Anyway I'm going to sleep now. I figure if I'm going to sit here and type this blog up... I might as well continue working on my unit of work. BUT I REALLY DON'T WANT TO ... so I'm just going to bed.

One more thing before I go.
My Superdry sh*t arrived last Friday. I love it all! TOTALLY WORTH IT =)

Iron Man 2

2010-04-30T02:25:00.001+10:00

Today was the best day. Glad I got out of bed :D

Ate fish and chips on Lyons street, Drummoyne (my fav fish and chips shop) in 20 minutes. Sped through peak hour traffic like crazy to get to the movie on time. Watched it with Jingi, Ben, David, Dickens, Pat and Joseph! IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD. I cannot wait for the Avenger movie !!!

Then after the movie we went to Pumpkin and met up with Tony to further discuss the movie.

During the movie this guy behind me kept making these excited remarks such as, "OMG THIS IS SOOO AWESOME," "that was EPIC!!!!" etc etc. I turned around to see who Ironman's biggest fan was.... There was a little boy with glasses sitting by himself commenting throughout the movie about HOW COOL IRONMAN WAS!

How cute is that? How could we not get caught up with the excitement with him sitting behind us!! Adorable :)

You never know

2010-04-28T23:18:00.001+10:00

What's left?

I keep asking myself the same questions again and again, no answers... Just like the time before.

I feel it washing over me like the cold winter air when you first rise from this warm bed. How can anyone want to get out of bed when the cold is so excrutiatingly unwelcoming. As if the world is telling me not to bother today... I will not enjoy this day.

This is who I am. The fluffy dandelion who still sways with the wind, with each seed still grasping onto the bud. Hanging on for dear life... Long after all the seeds of the other flowers have let go and flown away.

What am I really refusing to let go of?

Red center again

2010-04-27T00:39:00.001+10:00

Spent almost all of this long weekend at uni(s)! Sigh... And I still have a ridiculous amount of work to do in these last two weeks.

This is a picture I took of Jingi at Red Center today ha ha ha how big is his jacket.

But very warm :)

2010-04-26T05:02:00.001+10:00

Still not tired and my make up is off and I'm in bed taking luvos. *Sigh... What a big loser :(

Caffeine

2010-04-26T04:42:00.001+10:00

Woke up at 9am today to go to uni. Had a flat white at Strathfield at 10:50am and arrived at uni at around 11:30am. Second caffeine hit came at 7:15pm in the form of an English breakfast tea which lasted me until 11:30pm at which point, Jingi delivered me an iced coffee. I drank, more or less, half of it.

It is now 4:21am the following day and I just got home. I was at uni for roughly 15 hours straight, working on my English unit of work!

I never have caffeine because I am very caffeine-sensitive. Today I had a lot of caffeine!!!! I don't think I'll be able to sleep :S :S

Well... After 15 hours of work today and about 5 hours of work at Usyd on Saturday....... I STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED MY UNIT OF WORK! I'm on 5600 words (I'm not joking) and I still have to write a 1000 word rationale.

This is just ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as the following:

2010-04-25T01:10:00.000+10:00

Kick ass is the funniest movie ever! I'm so tired right now and tomorrow another early start to work on unit of work :'(

Superdry eBay store

2010-04-24T01:51:00.001+10:00

Last night Jingi and I dropped by David's house after work to pick up his USYD card and while we were chilling there he showed me the Superdry shop on Ebay.

Today I bought two jackets for $250 from the Superdry store in the UK which includes p&h so that's not too bad! One is leather and one is just really really thick. I just hope they suit me haha because I've never owned a leather jacket before!

Goodnight

2010-04-22T23:32:00.001+10:00

From Sam and Sisi :)

2010-04-22T23:30:00.001+10:00

This morning I went to Paddington and bought these shoes for $145

I had up until this morning, never heard of Parisian flats before. So I don't know about the quality or comfort. But a quick google search showed someone hearing from someone that they are made in Africa. The shoes themselves don't feel particularly sturdy (don't think they are walking shoes) but they are quite soft and comfortable... Though it might be because they're one size bigger than my normal size.

The floral is amazing though. Oh if only I had something to wear with it!

2010-04-21T22:59:00.000+10:00

Ahh assignments piling up in front of my eyes and I am so out of it these past couple of days.

Yea I think I might just stay up and get no sleep tonight just to remember what it feels like.

Starting is always the hardest part!

#3

2010-04-21T00:24:00.000+10:00

I'm going to grow out of you soon. I have tried everything to help you see that you can be so much better than you are!

You never seem to want that for yourself though. Are you really content with your life as it has unfolded? Do you honestly have no regrets?

People ask me why I don't push you, don't motivate you. What do they know? Two years I've spent trying to motivate you... First by modelling it and then making explicit interventions. But no one understands how hard it is to motivate someone who has doesn't want to change!

Life is not going to be easy for you. You're not going to win the lotto and what is the point of looking up hundred-thousand dollar cars all day if you don't take one single step to get to it?Nothing is going to get handed to you on a fucking silver platter. Life is not like that.

Yeh you're on your own.

2010-04-20T21:58:00.002+10:00

I NEED TO STUDY.

But starting these two major assignments are so hard. =S
It's already Wednesday I only have 2 more weeks to do this. It felt like just yesterday when I was sitting here making the same post about these two assignments, only it was "I have four weeks to do them."

NOW IT'S 2 WEEKS.

You see how time goes fast when you're trying to avoid something?

Goodnight

2010-04-20T00:33:00.001+10:00

I miss you, fast Internet

2010-04-17T01:25:00.000+10:00

Younger siblings + school holidays. Do you know what that means? It means our internet is capped and it's only the 17th which means we have to use shitty slow Internet for the next 13 days.

*Sigh

I'm waiting for this video to loa and in one hour it has only loaded 1 minute and 42 seconds... Ok so I'm trying to watch it in HD which is not helping.

Went to CarLovers at Chatswood today and couldn't find the self serve bays?? Could only locate the four or five "laserwash" bays. That was a big waste of time!

Uni tomorrow even though I'm sick and my lymphanodes are swollen and ... It's 1:12am and I should be sleeping but I'm not because I want to watch this freaking video in HD before I sleep arghfjfnfnjg!!!!

In the mean time I've just been doing readings & taking au naturale luvos of myself hehe. Unfortunately ever since I've been off the pill my skin has been breaking out and I feel like my skin tone's gotten worse. Maybe I need to start wearing foundation :(

I'm going to Carlovers tomorrow!!

2010-04-15T22:43:00.002+10:00

I'm going to make my car sooo squeaky clean tomorrow when Jingi takes me to CarLovers woohoo.

Today my tyre light came out and you know Minis with their weird Run-flat tyres. Jingi and I went through the manual and couldn't understand why it was just lighted up (not beeping, not flashing... just LIT) so we drove to BMW at Darlinghurst and the service guy sorted it out for me really quickly. BUT THE SERVICE RECEPTION BITCH o m g what a fucking racist idiot dude. She must've been thinking, what are these two gook asians doing in this nice BMW dealership.

I wish I remembered her name just so I could lodge a formal complaint against her. You know those service people that are like really rude to one person and then SUPER nice to the next person - and you know they could have treated you better but they didn't because they don't think you were worth it? Well she thought I wasn't worth it.

Anywayyyyyyyyy sorry about the rant. What I really wanted to say was that BMW dealership IS SOOO NICE and the people are all so wonderful and nice!!! I want to work there actually :) But only if the service reception woman gets fired for being a fat ass.

Pleasantly surprised

2010-04-14T19:23:00.000+10:00

My tutor for History Method just handed back my mark for the Scope and Sequence which is just an outline of what we'd do for 40 weeks of a school year plus a 1000 word rationale explaining our choices. It was worth 40% of the entire semester mark.

I got 35/35!

Yay! I know I mustn't get cocky though because I've still got to hand in a unit of work which is worth the other 60% - due in 3 weeks time. Haven't even started yet so must get a move on.

ANXIETY ATTACK

2010-04-13T23:03:00.003+10:00

ALREADY IN WEEK 8.

Need to complete
- 2 units of work (1 x English, 1 x History)
- 2 1000-word rationales
- Exam
- 2500 word essay on philosophy

You may think "Why that's not a lot of work to be done in the next 3-4 weeks..." Welllllll stfu might I remind you that units of work take about FOREVER to make. I AM SO DEAD.

Rationales I can manage, exams I can do and essays I can write. BUT UNITS OF WORK = PANIC ATTACK.

I'm actually really nervous and stressed out about this but instead of doing work all day today... I went to uni and read like 2 irrelevant articles, got kicked out of comm labs and then went to sit in Jingi's car until it was time to meet Selena for dinner.

She booked at this place that looked so dodgy and so we decided to go to the restaurant next door and I ATE PAELLA FOR THE FIRST TIME yummmerrrs. Hehe ever since I saw that made on Master Chef last year I've wanted to try it. Sel said that it was the best paella she's ever had and WELL IT'S THE ONLY PAELLA I'VE EVER HAD. So that's cool.

=S ANYWAY?!?!?!?!

I'm off to bed to have nightmares about my as of yet INCOMPLETE 0% PROGRESS UNITS OF WORK *SIGH

big two one

2010-04-12T22:13:00.002+10:00

I opened up this new browser to type a blog entry because I realise I haven't published anything since my trip to Melbourne.

...Then I procrastinated for 30 minutes by being on Facebook and wasting time. I actually hate that site, okay I don't hate it, but it really does waste time.

So onwards we go.

Melbourne was good. Make a post on this next time after I've uploaded photos.

On Saturday it was Jamie and I's poorly-organised combined birthday party at Mizuya followed by Ivy (well that was the plan anyway...) After the kareoke everyone continued to Ivy and I WENT TO ALEX'S HOUSE IN BURWOOD. I dogged my own birthday party... and I am aware that makes me soft. In my defense, I could have drank more and I didn't even vomit all night... and the only reason I didn't go to Ivy was because Jingi REALLY REALLY didn't want to go.

But I guess it was my birthday so I should've called the shots but I was preeeetty drunk too and I know I would definitely vomited if I had continued to Ivy.

So here I am... 21 at last.
I remember when I was 13 all I wanted to be was sweet 16. When I got to sweet 16 I realised it wasn't so sweet and wanted to be 18. When I was 18 I knew for certain that when I turned 21 I would have my entire life sorted.

Now I'm 21 and I can still remember how I felt when I was 13 wanting to be 16. I guess I have to say I have not sorted out even half of my life yet but I'm making progress. Every year I become a little wiser and I'm not rushing to grow up or anything but it's starting to loom over the horizon.

I think I'll be alright.

2010-04-12T00:30:00.000+10:00

There was a time when I would not be able to walk past a really delicious-looking muffin, donut or any sugar filled pastry without having an urge to buy it and eat it immediately. I soon learned that more often than not, these desserts never tasted as good as they looked.

In the air

2010-04-04T20:30:00.001+10:00

Taking off on a plane always makes me worry about the worst possible outcomes. I'm the kind of person that will always give my full attention to the flight stewardesses when they tell me about where the exits are, how to fit and inflate a life jacket or how to operate the oxygen masks. Undivded attention no matter how many times I've flown. I love the fact that I can sit on my PC and choose my own seats on the web check-in because I always try to choose seats closest to the exit. At least in any catastrophe I can shotgun out of the plane first.

Reading a broadsheet newspaper on a domestic flight is a very awkward activity because every time I turn a page... I get in everyone's way. The good thing is I have a window seat and my boyfriend is on my other side... So I don't have that problem!

New South Wales is also very cloudy today.